10 Years on the Trail: What Entrepreneurship Has Taught Me

A little over 10 years ago, my husband, John, and I had the idea to start a business. It all began as a conversation on a long car ride. We didn’t know what we didn’t know, but with our background in sport and performance psychology paired with my optimism and his realism, we figured we could make it happen. In 2015, mental performance businesses were still few and far between. We had few role models or resources. It felt like uncharted territory, leaving us with more questions than answers. It was exciting in some ways. As newly married, late 20-somethings with no kids, we felt the thrill of something new. But it was also nerve-wracking and overwhelming. 

Since then, I’ve learned a million things about being an entrepreneur. I’ve made countless mistakes, but I love this lifestyle more than I could have imagined. If you’re just starting out or have been in business for a few years, I hope my reflections offer you some insight or encouragement, or both. Private practice is not an easy career path, but it’s one that I would choose over and over again.

John and I started our business with two main goals in mind: autonomy and flexibility. We had recently transitioned out of being US Army military contractors at Fort Bragg and into full-time jobs in the Atlanta area, each taking a significant pay cut in the process. We learned a lot about what it means to be a professional in the field while in North Carolina, and we wanted to do things our own way. For people who knew us, no one was surprised. We were both wildly independent and hated being told what to do (still true). We also knew we wanted to start a family in a few years, which was part of the reason for moving – to be closer to my parents. When the time came, we believed this choice would let me do what I love while also raising kids. It sounded good in theory. In reality, I had no idea what juggling parenting and entrepreneurship would really be like. 

After months of after-hours work, we were an LLC. Our paperwork was approved. We built our website and set up our initial processes. We began spreading the word about our new business, all while continuing to work our full-time jobs. Then, we closed our first team client. With a check in hand for over $6,000, it finally felt like it was actually happening! Then the doubt and worry settled in – Can we do this? Are we good enough? What if it doesn’t go well? Are we worth that much money? 

Early the next year, the team contract was running smoothly and we started picking up individual clients. We felt a bit of traction, and autonomy and flexibility were weighing on me. I pulled together a clear picture of our finances (I do love a good spreadsheet). We met with our Financial Advisor to ask – can I leave my 9-to-5 job and give our business my full attention? The answer was “yes, and” (like most things, right?). “Yes,” we could do it – in part because John and I had been avid savers, even when both of us were making less than $30K a year at Florida State, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches daily for lunch (which we sometimes still do). “And,” because I needed to continue making a financial contribution to our household. I had a chance to transform my work life and fully invest in Intrepid Performance Consulting – so I took it.

Reflecting on where we started to where we are now, here are the top 10 lessons that have stuck with me. I believe these have been critical to us making it this far, to learning how to run a sustainable sport psychology business, and to helping me to become who I am.

1. You cannot be all things to all people. Instead, specialize.

Our first postcard promoted mental skills training for athletes, business people, military personnel, and students. Sure, in our field, we can support many kinds of performers. However, I quickly learned something important: when you’re talking to everyone, you’re talking to no one. Through my professional evolution, I’ve now specialized in helping high-achieving teenage student-athletes. I focus on those in swimming and running, especially when they are struggling with performance anxiety. It took years to get this specific and reach this level of growth. Now, I get to support this type of person most often in my work – and I have the opportunity to say “yes” to other types of people, if I choose to. Originally, I thought that carving out a niche would limit our business, but it’s done the exact opposite. Specializing also helps me to genuinely enjoy the work I do, helping me to feel more fulfilled in the process. 

2. We are problem solvers, not just performance enhancers.  

Like many early entrepreneurs in our field, we spent a lot of time talking about how we could help people improve performance through building mental skills. And sure, you’ll have some clients work with you who are doing well and simply want to get better. But generally, in private practice, we’ve found that people are not usually willing to part with their hard-earned money ($100s to $1,000s) unless they are in pain. They are typically not willing to put in weeks and months of work on abstract skills unless they have a problem. For non-clinical, mental performance coaches like me, the reality is – we are a non-essential, niche service, that is unsupported by insurance. Most of my clients come to me with a problem they believe I can solve – now, largely, performance anxiety. When you deeply understand your ideal client, their struggles, and how you can help, marketing and sales begin to feel more like a caring way to offer support.  

3. Be relational, not transactional. 

Many graduate students and aspiring entrepreneurs often ask me: How do I find clients? From the beginning, I’ve been a firm believer in networking as an important way to build your business. After I went full-time in private practice in 2016, I attended networking events nearly every week, much to John’s chagrin (because it didn’t yield quick results). Each event, I sharpened my elevator pitch and gave the introvert in me a pep talk. What I didn’t do was think about what it really meant to connect.

Brené Brown defines connection as, “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

At first, I struggled to network with the goal of truly connecting. I often expected something in return, like a referral. At the end of the day, we’re all just people – and people are designed to connect. When you approach networking as an opportunity to build relationships, you’re getting to know people and letting people get to know you, which helps them like you and trust you. Along with doing good work, this is how we’ve gained “word of mouth” over the years, when those connections from networking turned into referrals months and years later. This process and the intention of connecting has also helped me to build a referral network, where I can refer to other experts as needed. 

4. You belong. Get involved. 

Building relationships, for me, has also extended to our professional community. I started volunteering with the Association for Applied Sport Psychology (AASP) in 2010. As a graduate student, I helped with audio/visual work at the annual conference. Later, I applied to be an item writer and reviewer when the CMPC exam was being developed in 2016. Since then, I’ve enjoyed serving on committees, connecting in special interest groups, participating in strategic planning sessions, and further supporting the CMPC exam and job analysis. I’ve met some of my favorite people along the way who are now friends and close colleagues. Together, we’ve done important work to advance the field. There’s always more to do, and I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished so far. Not to mention, volunteering has helped me to grow as a practitioner, entrepreneur, and leader. It is worth investing your time and energy into something bigger than yourself – whether that is AASP, APA Division 47, or another organization. Get involved. 

5. If you don’t take care of you, no one will. 

Before having kids, I spent as much time on and in the business as I possibly could (yes, on and in the business are two different things). One of my old neighbors nearly dragged me out of the house mid-day twice a week for a long walk. I remember feeling slightly annoyed and unnecessarily agitated about it, but ultimately grateful each time. In 2017, I lost a pregnancy – and probably could have taken more time to grieve and process. Later that year, I had hip surgery and was back seeing clients a week later (0/10 recommend). It’s taken me years (and two kids) to consistently build in time for exercise, healthy eating, getting outside, resting, taking breaks, and doing things for fun. Now, I do these things on purpose. I’ve learned that if you often burn the candle at both ends and have a never-ending to-do list, and you want to do everything “perfectly,” it’s hard to keep up. You can only run at that op-tempo for so long. Something will eventually suffer. If you see private practice as your long-term career, it’s better to focus on sustainability. For me, this means prioritizing self-care and seeing energy as my most important resource.

6. Entrepreneurship is a lifestyle, not a job. 

On that note, especially since 2020, I’ve changed the way I view entrepreneurship. I used to see working for myself as “the main thing,” that if I did well, I could create the life I wanted. When the world shifted, something in me did too. Suddenly, I felt I had “permission” to become who I wanted to be, to work how I wanted to work. Sometimes, I still struggle with the hustle and grind narrative – as evidenced by my “check on ‘busy’” post-it note on my computer. I don’t want that to be my whole story. Recently I took a survey for a student’s dissertation and found it hard to answer questions about my work and my time. I’ve come to realize that my work and my life are now fluid – inseparable. I work odd hours and travel several times a year. Sometimes it’s for work, other times it’s a moms-only trip, or flying across the world to visit friends. I plan weeks and months ahead, and I adjust on the fly when things change, like when both boys came down with hand, foot, and mouth the same week John was traveling for work. I don’t have a job – I have a life. And isn’t that the point – to enjoy your work and also enjoy your life? That’s what I’m trying to do.

7. You don’t have to do it alone. Find your people.

By now you may have gathered that the version of me who started our business is not the same as who I am now. My mom likes to joke that one of my favorite things to say when I was a toddler was, “I can do it my-shelf.” That version of me held true for a long time. Don’t kid yourself – I can still be stubborn – but I’ve gotten a lot better at asking for and accepting help, support, and love. (Compliments, however, are a different story.) John has always been a great teammate in business, even after he transitioned out of coaching and into an advisory role in 2021. Since then, I’ve been a lot more intentional about the people I choose to surround myself with, both professionally and in my personal life. Finding your people makes work and life much more enjoyable. For me, this has meant connecting and collaborating with others in our field. I have two peer consult groups – one for business, one for the work itself. I’ve also invested in my personal friendships, especially my ride-or-die mom crew. It takes a village to raise kids and entrepreneurs need a village too. Take time to find your “tramily,” “E-team,” and “people resources,” as Lindsey and I call them in the Establish course.

8. Money isn’t everything. Define your own success. 

Not every year in business is high-profit or worth bragging about. The years that are, in my experience, have required a lot more time, energy, and sacrifice. I’ve long wrestled with a conditioned belief: my worth as a person, spouse, and professional depend on my income. I recognize that for some people, earning a certain income or being the family’s “breadwinner” is a top priority. But for me, it’s not (and I absolutely recognize the privilege I have in being able to even say that). Along the way, I reflected on what success really means to me and eventually landed on three things: impact, flexibility, and fulfillment. This is when my “yes” and “no” became more clear. I began to live more in alignment with my values. This helped me show up more authentically as an entrepreneur. Each business is unique, and part of that will be based on how you define success. 

9. Feel it all, and keep doing your thing.

Being an entrepreneur feels like riding an emotional rollercoaster. Buckle up, seat check, off we go:

• I’ve felt excited over new projects, when picking up the phone to talk to a parent of a student-athlete, when hitting send on a five-figure proposal, and for the opportunity to support my ideal clients.

• Anxious about landing a new contract, then realizing it’s now time to (over) deliver.

• Discouraged after trying to launch a coaching group and getting zero sign-ups.

• Frustrated after being ghosted by a coach who seriously inquired about working with me.

• Inferior when getting passed over for opportunities.

• Jealous when other mental performance coaches appeared to have “more success,” especially as I struggled with postpartum.

• Betrayed when I informally mentored other practitioners and they copied things we were doing.

• Vulnerable when we received a cease and desist letter in the mail.

• Worried about mistakes I’ve made.

• Overwhelmed after taking on too much.

• Appreciated by clients, mentees, and colleagues.

• Thankful for the opportunity to make a positive impact on others.

• Optimistic about the future.

• Joy and gratitude that this is my life, and I get to decide what to do with it.

Whew – see? Rollercoaster. As entrepreneurs, it’s important that we acknowledge and process what we are feeling, much like many of us do with our clients. What’s helped me most with this one has been diving into Susan David’s work on emotional agility and working with a therapist.

10. Don’t rest on what you already know. Stay curious and keep learning.

Something I underestimated coming out of grad school – with over 700 mentored hours toward the CMPC credential – was how much more I had to learn. During my first few months at Fort Bragg, I was bumped back down a peg or ten (rightly so) and slowly recognized the importance of observing, learning from my teammates, and getting high-quality reps with feedback. We were encouraged to keep learning – read, discuss, create, iterate. Then, as an early entrepreneur, I spent a lot of time learning about business and less about the work itself. When I began to specialize, that’s when I reinvested time into learning to get better at my work – which is when it all clicked. Reading, writing, creating, and mentoring make me a better professional and entrepreneur, and also a better person. As a non-revenue-generating activity (at least in the moment), it takes time and effort to keep learning. And yet, learning through curiosity is exactly the thing that will help us to do good work and continue to grow as entrepreneurs.

TL;DR on lessons learned:

• Define what success means to you and create your lifestyle as an entrepreneur.

• Connect and get involved - relationships matter.

• Be a specialist, not a generalist.

• Ride the emotional rollercoaster. 

• Prioritize self-care and learning.

Ten years in, here’s what business looks like now: I support 10-15 individual clients at a time. I also do contract work, volunteer with AASP, and give guest lectures. I mentor graduate students when I can. I’m focusing more on developing the big ideas Lindsey and I have for Project E. I juggle this with being a mom, managing a household (which, let’s be honest, is a full-time job itself – stay-at-home parents are the real MVPs), and living my life. 

Do I have it all figured out? No. Is this what I thought life would be like? Not at all. Do I know exactly where I’ll be in 10 years? I do not. But, I’m starting to build out a vision for the future, and I’m excited for what’s possible.