Mindset #5: No one does it alone

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been this hyper-independent person who thinks she has to do everything herself. While that can be a strength at times, let’s call it what is: exhausting. I ran with this for a while early on in my business - not asking for help, deep diving on things I didn’t know to try and figure them out, and spending as little money as I could on anything “extra.” I was a solopreneur keen on wearing all of the hats, and looking good while doing it. 

Spoiler alert: This landed me feeling isolated, drained, and even cautious. This was especially true after previously working on a team as a military contractor and then being a part of a non-profit staff. In private practice, my main work-related interactions came from clients and networking. In looking back, I think the isolation was also amplified by feeling a sense of competition - like many other consultants in the field were competing with each other, and with me. At the time, there didn’t seem to be a sense of sharing or collaboration, especially not between those of us in private practice. The story I was telling myself kept coming back to my status quo: Do it yourself. 

What I know now that I didn’t know then was that really, no one does entrepreneurship alone - and you shouldn’t have to. It’s a heck of a lot more joyful, meaningful, and sustainable when you have good support around you, even if (especially if) you work for yourself. 

As a part of our 10 E Mindset blog series, let’s dive in to Mindset #5: 

No one does it alone 

Let’s break this down. 

Mindset

The belief or attitude behind this mindset is this: entrepreneurship is not meant to be a solo journey - it is a pursuit that is simply better with connection and support. Deciding to build and operate something that is uniquely yours is a hard thing. We all need help along the way, and that’s not a sign of weakness, it’s actually a necessity. 

Action

When you embrace the mindset and importance of doing entrepreneurship with support rather than by yourself, your actions will follow. You might begin by reflecting on where you are right now and what or who has helped you get there. Sometimes, we are so used to doing things ourselves that we don’t always recognize the other people or things who have played a role in supporting us. 

This might take the form of a gratitude practice:

1. Identify something you are grateful for, support you have received that was meaningful to you, something you’ve gained because of someone or something else, or someone who you appreciate.

2. Seek to understand why that is important to you or what that means to you, particularly as an entrepreneur. 

3. Determine how you might create more of that good thing for yourself in the future. Perhaps this is sharing that appreciation with the person you identified or seeking out additional resources that align with what you’re currently grateful for.

As a part of this process, this may give you a better sense of who already supports you related to your business. This could be family members, friends, a significant other, neighbors, your community, former classmates or professors, colleagues, mentors, and more. 

Then, consider what support you need or want. Support you seek out may be a reflection of the stage of business you’re in, what questions or gaps you have, your business or career goals, or even how you’re feeling at any given point. We often look at entrepreneurial support in the categories of formal and informal. 

Formal support tends to help you with certain functions within your business that are necessary, but you are not knowledgeable or skilled in those areas. This may include, but is not limited to: an attorney, an accountant or CPA (Certified Public Accountant), and a financial advisor or CFP (Certified Financial Planner). You may also consider a bookkeeper, a graphic designer, a marketing expert, an operations lead, or an assistant. This kind of support helps you to ensure your business is legal, ethical, financially sound, and efficient. 

Informal support comes in many shapes and forms. Outside of what is “necessary” for your private practice, what else would help you - as a person, professional, and business owner? You might build this kind of support related to referrals, peer consultations, mentorship, gaining business knowledge and skills, family and household management, self-care, and more. Who else do you know who might be able to help? Focus on building relationships over time, and see what you can give in return.

Benefits

Understanding that no one does it alone - as a mindset and action - ultimately helps you and your business to be more secure, sustainable, and successful. By reflecting on who is already in your corner, expressing gratitude to others, and mindfully curating folks to support you (formally and informally), you’re setting yourself up to feel less isolated. You’ll have more people to turn to to celebrate, vent, and everything in between. You’ll have more energy to do the things that you do best. You’ll have more space to operate from your why and your values in the business that you’ve created to make a difference in the world. You’ll be in a better position to do good work. 

One of the best things I’ve done in the past few years was establishing two peer consult groups: one for women entrepreneurs in sport psychology and mental performance (with Lindsey), the other for well-established applied mental performance practitioners. These groups, and people, offer me so many things - kindness, space, questions, ideas, perspective, resources, camaraderie, laughter, and love. They’ve seen me through some highs and lows and I know I’m better with them by my side, on my screen, and at my fingertips.

My hope for you is that you figure this one out much sooner than I did. Take the time to recognize, appreciate, and cultivate your support - you’ll be much better for it.  

P.s. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say: If you are in the early stages of starting your mental performance business, or you’ve got all of the ideas but haven’t yet begun, we’d love for you to consider our Establish course. Not only do Lindsey and I walk you through every little thing to know or do to set up your private practice, but we’ve also created a really incredible community to do it with. As a part of the course, we offer monthly Campfires where you can connect virtually with our members - to get to know each other, share questions, challenges, and ideas, and offer support. It’s one of those rare spaces where you finally feel like you’re with people in our field who “just get it” and where vulnerability and kindness are not just expectations, but common practice. If this feels like the kind of support you’ve been missing, we’d love to have you.